I wanted to cook meat for lunch this weekend. I used my mom’s traditional chicken recipe, marinated the meat, used delicious spices and added all that into a pressure cooker.
This was going to be it! I was going to continue the legacy of cooking great food for my generations ahead. I was the flag bearer, the epitome, the example of the lady that cooks mouth-smacking food…..
…. Until my stupid, big oaf of pressure cooker decided to ruin the chicken and burn a hole in my pocket.
Typical of a Pressure Cooker to give away when its needed the most. Exactly, like most humans.
How many times have we (yes, WE. You and Me, included) have given up on people when they expected the most from you? How many times have we let others down because ‘we didn’t feel like doing it’?
A. Zillion. Times.
So, Abandonment is taken care of.
What are the 5 other Personalities that we share with a Pressure Cooker? Let’s find out!
1.The Anxious Human
Oh, so you think you are the only one who has Anxiety? Our anxiety has anxiety and that poor pressure cooker is no different. So you have gone about filling a whole load of vegetables, eggs, rice and gravy into the small boy that it is now concerned about its survival.
On the gas stove now, he keeps whistling every 2 seconds because he cannot handle the pressure and the responsibility of delivering has caused it to freak out!
His anxiety has now skyrocketed, and though he has cooked the food for you (and the village you were going to feed. Duh.), its now tasteless.
2.The Unaffected Human
In a similar case scenario, there are pressure cookers who will just not work, irrespective of the amount you fill in it. Your food may or may not b cooked and that is the risk you take for having these around. These oafs are not bothered of the external pressure or rants, they care a dime for the expectations we set for them and usually need a good hardware fix.
Wish we could do that for humans.
3.The Disciplined Human
Oh these are the guys we have in mind as our ideal pressure cookers! They take just the time, just the right amount and the perfect number of whistles to give you the best cook possible. They perseverance got them to last a generation and here they are, with marks on their armor – that they can handle anything.
But if you have an idiot chef handling them, chances are that these good lads won’t be around much!
4.The Moody Human
If Hormones are for Humans, the Pressure Regulator Whistle is for the Cooker. They are erratic and whether they will function this time, or the next, can only be told by the Seven Gods (I am a GoT Fan!)
These people can be brilliant, or dumb; careless or meticulous, but moods screw them up. So if your pressure cooker is moody, you better have your delivery app on standby!
5.The Over – The – Top Human
Now these types of cookers are jerks. They need all the extra, unnecessary care and maintenance, but come with a false advertisement of being better than the rest! How? Less Time, less gas, environment friendly, kids – friendly, yada yada!…
But the truth is, they waste your time by giving false hopes, they seem to help you when in fact, they are getting all the maintenance they need, and while they claim to reduce your gas bills, they spike relative amount in the electricity bill.
What have we lost?
In the quest to faster, more automated cooking, we left behind the quintessential method of food cooked in open earthen or iron woks, the enticing aroma and flavors that we would remember for days.
These were the generations our parents and grandparents came from. They knew the slow or rather, the right method of cooking anything, was this.
In the fight to live a luxurious life, we humans went on from sturdy, dependable, worthy, healthy and happy, to weak, conniving, fraudulent, sick and sad.
Isn’t it weird, that humans apply more butter to each other’s faces than we apply to a non-stick pressure cooker?